ICSAA 2024 Essay

By Dale K.

This is neither a report nor a review. It’s only my experience attending ICSAA 2024 – International Conference of Secular Alcoholics Anonymous – in Orlando, Florida. Briefly, it was incredible! It started with a road trip which I love. I’ve been doing solitary road trips for years. For me, it’s a great way to clear my mind of routines and embark on a new adventure. In years past, I would think nothing of doing 700 miles in one day, but I’m old now. I spent the first night in Savannah, GA. Savannah is a lovely place, but I didn’t go into the city. I was just in a hotel out on the highway.

When I arrived in Orlando on Thursday, I was barely checked in when I met with Eva C. from Staten Island, New York. Eva had come early to spend time with friends. I first met her at the Toronto conference in 2018. It wasn’t long before she said that I was her “conference husband.” I felt honored by that level of closeness. Eva is a fantastic woman and we spent much of the conference together. We enjoyed many conversations about everything and nothing. She was quick to inform me of the other conference that coincided with ours. The Smut Lovers were in town and they provided many distractions for the ICSAA attendees. One nice moment was when one of the Smut Lovers joined us at the smoking area. I was about to leave when she showed me her ring. The design was AA’s triangle in a circle. She told me that she had 3 years of sobriety. That sparked a nice conversation. Her gentle demeanor betrayed her dominatrix appearance. We, all, have many facets and I’m happy that I only experienced her tender and gentle side.

I set up at the author’s table and had a nice reunion with Vince Hawkins. We traded books and I’m looking forward to reading Secular AA by him. Also, I got Trauma And The 12 Steps by Jamie Marich in a trade. She was one of our speakers. Her presentation was great and I’m excited about reading her book, too. I purchased 30 Things by William H. Schaberg. These books will satisfy my reading habit for a short while. I brought 20 copies of my book, A Secular Sobriety. Two were traded, 14 were sold, 3 were given to people that couldn’t afford the extra expense and 1 was stolen. It’s my great wish that the stolen one brings some peace and sobriety to that person. If you’re reading this I want you to know that all is forgiven. In fact, I’m glad that you have a copy of a book that you went to such length to obtain. It’s a kind of compliment that you wanted it so. To give books in these circumstances is the essence of what we do in sobriety. We take care of and help each other. We lead with our hearts.

My biggest highlight of ICSAA 2024 was Penny M. from Virginia. I first met Penny in Zoom meetings. I was so excited to meet her in person! Her 56 years of sobriety shined through with every smile, gesture and all of her elegant conversations punctuated with a little swearing. Her presentation about her journey into and through sobriety was the most popular of the conference. I know it was recorded and I look forward to hearing it again. All the requited love was hers and ours to enjoy. So much so that she said it was a bit overwhelming at times. I hope she’s still bathing in the afterglow. Penny is one of the most beautiful people I know. I’m so proud to know her and be friends.

I’m no fan of disco, but the dance on Saturday night was a fine place to find the joy of not caring that I can’t dance. With so many lovely people I felt safe enough to make a fool of myself. It wasn’t about how coordinated I am. It was about releasing my inhibitions and expressing the freedom that was present in my heart. The “ICSAA Effect” will do that to you.

The hotel food was adequate at best. It kept me nourished, but it did little for my soul. The best thing was their Key Lime pie, but it was just okay. After living in SE Florida for 4 decades I can claim the mantle of Key Lime pie expert. I had a Key Lime tree and I experimented for years before developing my own recipe. It’s my sincere belief that I make the best Key Lime pie ever. That’s been verified by the people that have been fortunate enough to taste it. It’s possible that some were just being kind, but I’m confident that their compliments were genuine. I’d like to give a big shoutout to the hotel’s ice cream parlor. The ice cream was a nightly pleasure and the people I met there were wonderfully insane. Especially the woman that I was kidding around with enough to make my “conference wife” jealous. She exclaimed, “He belongs to me!” It was a very touching moment when she grabbed my hand and pulled me out of there. I’m sure she only wanted to keep me out of trouble. She claimed it was a big job.

I want to thank all the very capable folks from the OMAGOD group in Orlando. They put on a wonderful conference! I know it was a lot of work for them. I witnessed all the effort and planning that went into it because I was on planning and programming committees. It was easy for me. I just attended the Zoom meetings. They did all of the enormous legwork. A special “thank you” to Allison P. and Tony F. for leading the OMAGOD team! Their organizational skills were very impressive. They kept our Zoom meetings on point to facilitate efficiency. All the work they and the rest of the OMAGOD team did in-between the meetings was amazing to witness. Their efforts during the conference was quite evident, too. I’m in deep gratitude.

Dale K. has been sober since January 6, 1981. He is the author of A Secular Sobriety. He was, always, up front about his atheism. The others in AA were confident that he would find God, but he never did. In the mid 80’s a secular meeting was started in his hometown of Boca Raton, FL. Dale is confident that this group saved his sobriety. These people spoke his language and he found his voice.

The vast majority of his service work is dedicated to volunteerism in his community. Many years were dedicated to Toys for Tots, the homeless and being a Guardian ad Litem. Today, he volunteers at the Center for Conscious Living and Dying caring for those in their final days. Dale was an electrical contractor and, in retirement, became a park ranger at a national wildlife refuge in Hobe Sound, FL. Presently, he lives in Big Ivy, NC which is 20 miles north of Asheville.