Sober for Fifteen Years
By Roger C.
I recently celebrated being sober for fifteen years!
I drank for forty years, from the age of twenty to the age of sixty. And that was awful. It ruined a marriage that ultimately ended in a divorce. I drank most every day and had the occasional blackout. And towards the end of my drinking, I had very few friends.
I ultimately got a DUI, and that’s when I quit drinking. My brother Ron came to see me and took my car away and urged me to go to Homewood Health Centre. It is in Guelph, Ontario, and it’s for those with addiction and substance abuse. My brother paid for it and I was there for almost a month. I was at Homewood shortly after getting sober. I got and have stayed sober since March 8th, 2010.
At Homewood they required that I attend local AA meetings twice a week. And I did. And at that time I was surprised that there were so many people that had the same drinking problem as I did. And I was truly stunned that there were so many AA meetings. In the city of Toronto for example there are 485 meetings every week. Now Toronto is Canada’s biggest city, but that is an astonishing number of meetings. At that time I would never have thought that there were so many people with serious drinking problems.
As a sober guy in Hamilton, Ontario, I started attending a couple of AA meetings every week. But I ran into a serious problem. There was a lot of God talk at the AA meetings I attended. Six of their 12 Steps have “God” in them. And every one of the meetings I attended ended with the Lord’s Prayer. They would insist that that had nothing to do with religion. Bullshit. I have a BA (Laurentian University, Sudbury, Ontario) and an MA (McGill University, Montreal, Quebec) in Religious Studies and never found any reason to believe in a deity. And at these “traditional” AA meetings I was told that if I didn’t believe in a god I would not be able to continue living as a sober human being. Again: bullshit.
I was very lucky around that time to find a secular AA meeting in Toronto. The meeting is called Beyond Belief Agnostics and Freethinkers Group and it was originally launched by Joe C. on September 24th, 2009. Joe C. is the author of the excellent book Beyond Belief Agnostic Musings for 12 Step Life. It would take me an hour and a half on a bus to go to and return from that meeting – Hamilton to Toronto and back – but I loved it and I would attend it every Thursday and Saturday.
After I attended that meeting for roughly six months, a bizarre, terrible and disgusting thing happened. The Beyond Belief Agnostics and Freethinkers Group was booted out of AA by the Greater Toronto Area Intergroup. And why did that happen? Well, it was because we used a secular version of the 12 Steps, without a “God” in any of them. Our Beyond Belief group was out for roughly six years until the AA General Service Office in New York City (responsible for AA in the United States and Canada) threatened to boot the Greater Toronto Area Intergroup out of AA unless they respected and included Beyond Belief in their list of AA groups. The AA General Service Office understood that you don’t have to believe in a god in order to stay sober or to help others at your AA meetings to stay sober. My response when that decision was made: Thank God!
Now let me add this: I launched this AA Agnostica website – in 2011 – within days of when Beyond Belief was booted out of AA. The original purpose of the website was to let folks know that Beyond Belief still existed. But we started posting articles! And today this is now the 785th article posted on this website. We are also now very close to having five million people viewing and reading articles on AA Agnostica.
Over the years I have also published a dozen books. Here are three of them:
Daily Reflections for Modern Twelve Step Recovery was published in January of this year! It is an excellent book and some thoughts about it can be read here: Daily Reflections.
The Little Book was initially published in 2013 with a second edition in 2021. It contains 20 versions of the 12 Steps and four interpretations of each of the Steps. And then there is an essay on the origins of the 12 Steps. More here: The Little Book.
Finally, The Alternative 12 Steps – A Secular Guide to Recovery. Another excellent book which was originally published way back in 1991. Written by two women – Martha Cleveland and Arlys G. – I published the second edition in 2014.
Now let me mention two wonderful upcoming events!
The first is the Secular Ontario Alcoholics Anonymous Roundup (SOAAR). This is an event in Canada but with a number of folks from the United States. It will be held on Saturday, September 27th 2025 in Ottawa.
This will be the fourth SOAAR. The first was held in Toronto in 2017, the second in Hamilton in 2019 and the third in Kingston in 2023. Here is an article about the first one: SOAAR 2017.
It is an important event. It is designed to grow secular AA and to have it better recognized within traditional Alcoholics Anonymous. There are great speakers and panels. Another purpose of SOAAR is to bring people together to celebrate sobriety with friends, family and many other AA members. The Roundup is very much a recovery-based event where folks gather to share their Experience, Strength and Hope with each other. Attend, if you can!
The second wonderful upcoming event is the International Conference of Secular Alcoholics Anonymous (ICSAA). This will be held November 13, 14 and 15th, 2026 in Phoenix, Arizona. This event promises to bring together a diverse community of alcoholics committed to secular recovery within the AA framework.
This will now be the fifth ICSAA. The first was held in Santa Monica California in 2014, the second in Austin Texas in 2016, the third in Toronto Ontario in 2018 and the fourth in Orlando Florida in 2024.
Here are a couple of articles about these events: ICSAA 2024 Essay, The 2018 International Conference of Secular AA and The Secular AA 2016 Austin Convention. And by the way, the original name of ICSAA was We Agnostics and Freethinkers AA Convention.
Attend the 2026 ICSAA in Phoenix Arizona, if you can!
And now back to my 15 years of sobriety.
Because I couldn’t stand the traditional godly AA meetings, in 2016 I launched a “We Agnostics” AA meeting in Hamilton. It is held every Thursday. I also launched another “We Agnostics” meeting in 2018, held every Monday. There are usually some 20 people in attendance and we pick two topics. I always enjoy listening to the recovery folks sharing their thoughts on the topics.
And am I happy to be sober these days? Damn right I am! It has changed my life. I am much more thoughtful and considerate as a sober human being. When I got out of Homewood I couldn’t understand how I could stay sober. But there are at least three factors that have kept me sober. First: Living a better life. It is obvious to me that being sober I am living a (much) better life. I am not screwing up each and every day with booze. Second: Going to meetings. Being with other sober folks at meetings has always been helpful for me. I’m inspired by people who are successful in staying sober. And third: One Day at a Time. You don’t have to consider not drinking a month, a year, or whenever from now. The ideal principle is to decide not to drink each and every day. And that is me every morning: “I’m not drinking today”.
And thus: now more than the fifteen years!
For a PDF of today’s article, click here: Sober for Fifteen Years.
Ah Roger – I’m pleased to read your clip and congrats man!
Thank you for all you do – you really keep us connected and informed!
Grateful our paths have crossed on our secular path.
Fascinating history lesson woven into your personal experience. SOAAR sounds amazing. And I am excited for ICSAA Phoenix 2026! By the way, free registration for September’s Virtual ICSAA 2025 has opened. Visit aasecular.org
Thanks Margarita!
I enjoy reading AA Agnostica. I also enjoy attending AA, despite almost gagging on some of the religiosity.
As a practicing physician (Internist, Addiction Medicine) and an atheist, I am the clinician in our practice who gets to deal with the folks who can’t deal with God but can still benefit from 12-step programs.
I tell them to take an anthropological view: If we were anthropologists studying an agrarian culture, and we grew our own corn to avoid burdening the community we were studying, they’d be appalled that we skipped all their rituals and propitiations to the various gods. But our corn would taste the same as theirs.
As a scientific observer and empiricist, I cannot argue against the fact that people come to AA drunk, get sober, stay sober, and enjoy sobriety. But I see no reason to ascribe this success to a mythical sky fairy, who truth be told, is quite frightening! (Thinking of the comment by Richard Dawkins).
I, too, have written a book, a 64 page monograph, at the request of patients who wanted me to provide a permanent record of what I teach them. Were I not so lazy, I’d probably write more…………..
My sobriety date is 3-1-86
Congratulations, and thank you for all you do for us non-god sober folks (39 years).
A few more thoughts.
My definition (for patients and others) of sobriety/recovery is 2 things:
We will get to know ourselves in depth and like who we are: the antithesis of active alcoholism, where we don’t much like ourselves and suspect that if we knew ourselves better, we’d like ourselves even less. I refer to alcoholism as the “I don’t like me disease” and think alcohol is just the agent we choose to act out that dislike of self.
We will be able to predict our actions/behaviors and their outcomes with confidence. Again, the antithesis of active drinking where we start every day with the best of intentions only to wind up utterly surprised by the jackpots that then inevitably follow.
My secular 12 step version:
Identity (1-2-3): we know what’s wrong, we know a way out, we choose to take that path
Insight(4-5): what the heck is wrong with me and tell someone
Change(6-7): what parts of my personality hold me back and how do I mitigate the damage
Responsibility(8-9): what do I owe, I’ll pay the bill
Continuity(10-11-12): stay on track, stay in touch, use what we have learned to accomplish more and help others
I think that’s enough from me for now.
Thanks to the AA Agnostica community of secularly sober folks.
Congratulations on 15 years and much more for the HUGE role this website has played in the growth of secular AA. Posts here quickly gained an international following. Five million visits is remarkable.
I love irony and there’s lots of that to be found in the 2011 attempt to purge AA of the “agnostic “ element. The old grumpy guy, now deceased, who led the attack accomplished the opposite.
That new Daily Reflections book looks fascinating. With Christmas just around the corner, it’s a great time to load up on those.
One more thank you, Roger, for all you do to keep us happy, sober and together. Probably time for another small gift to help support costs of maintaining this website. And congratulations of 15 years.
Best, Lance
Thank you thank you for all you have done and continue to do Roger.
Phoenix, November 2026…on my calendar.
Went to Widening the Gate conference in Tacoma WA years ago. Was so wonderful.
Congrats on 15!
Teresa in Monterey CA
Thanks, Roger. I appreciate all the work you’ve done over the years.
Congratulations Roger, and thanks for all your service.
Thanks! So much Roger for helping lead the way to Recovery without the necessity of Belief in “God”! Regular AA is so full of shit that it isn’t a religious program and that you don’t need to believe!
Thank you for the many years of this wonderful website, Roger and congrats on 15 years of sober living.
I am fortunate to be a member of a mens AA group in Calgary whose members care not whether people believe in a god or none. Some are Christian, Muslim, Jewish, atheist, agnostic. What matters to us is if it works for them. The group – Whitesheep – is 50 years old and I hope you will visit us should you ever find yourself in Cowtown.
Congratulations Roger! You’re an inspiration. Thank you for your commitment to the cause.
Love you, Roger. I hope to see you in 2026. Thank you for everything you do and have done. Super happy this site is back with new articles. I may have a good topic to write about at the end of this month. It’s about my fight to get the International Women’s Conference to include extensive secular participation. The vote, should it be in our favor, I will write about it. It will need editing, and I hope you would be willing to do that for me.
Congrats on the 15 sober years! Thanks for comments and books. I’ve gained a lot by reading them and your postings.
Congrats Roger on your 15 years. Equally, big thanks for your inspiring AA Agnostica site, a timely and excellent resource for those non-believers within AA who were lucky enough to search it out back then. The conflict with TAI and its dismissive attitude to ‘agnostic’ groups within the Toronto Area kept me enthralled. For me, Larry has attained ‘hero’ status for his sterling efforts in facing the entrenched closed mindedness prevalent within TAI at that time by taking them to the Tribunal. You may have been relatively new to the madhouse of ‘AA’ as it was back then Roger but you’ve brought so much through your efforts with AA Agnostica in particular, that has helped so many of us realise that even we atheists, as I have been since before coming to AA, are no longer alone in AA.
To Roger and all who replied, thank you for what you wrote. There’s a learning inside all of that for me and a reminder. I suppose I’ll have to write an article about that. But, today, more importantly, a personal thank you to Roger. Too often “we” offer congratulations, and we are sincere, but it is difficult to understand exactly what that means. If Roger is like me—I imagine like all of us—those first few months or years were fraught with anxiety or anger and insecurity. Drink, don’t drink, lash out, don’t lash out, start an argument, don’t start one, quit, don’t quit, and so on. In each of those thousands of angry, scary moments (which we have since forgotten) you chose to stay committed. Congratulations Roger, that at each of those tens-of-thousands of moments you chose this path again and again, rather than the old one. I know I didn’t give myself enough credit for this arduous undertaking. I sincerely believe we atheists and agnostics are the brave few… As Einstein said, “Role modeling isn’t a good way to influence people, it’s the only way.” Roger—congratulations on role modeling for 15 years what needs to be done. Richard Clark.
First, congratulations on 15 years of sobriety! Secondly, I purchased “The Little Book” (alternative 12 steps) shortly after it came out and it is my favorite 12-step book! And finally, I live in California and was excited to see there’s going to be a secular convention in Phoenix in 2026. I hope to get more information about it in the future, and also attend!
Congratulations Roger on your 15 years of continuous sobriety. It looks/sounds good on you, my friend!
I’m sure in the beginning at Homewood Health Centre you would never have imagined how you could possibly have turned the malignancy of your alcoholism into something as momentous and beneficial as AA Agnostica — 785 articles posted and around 5 million views/readers. Wow!!
And I know it’s not easy having to be present each and every Sunday and coordinate all the reader responses. Talk about AA service work!
Well done, Roger, on your well-grounded recovery of which this website is such an integral part. —John
Bravo Roger! I’m glad our paths have crossed along our shared journey. Keep up the great personal work.
Congratulations on your 15 years of sobriety, Roger.
Although I was never there myself (I had a stay at the Bell Clinic) my Dad was a patient at Homewood in the early 1950’s.
Duncan McL
Une annonce très heureuse pour tes 15 ans. Salue mon ami ; tu as contribué à rendre AA meilleur.
Reading this reminded me how much I have loved hearing you speak at meetings. There has been some joy along the way. Thanks for making my AA, and AA as a whole, a better AA.
Take a bow,
Merci.
Congratulations Roger! A dozen or so years ago, the AA Agnostica website was a revelation to me. It showed me that you can get sober without a religious God. I was starting to lose hope and thought about leaving AA. It changed my life and made me stay. Now we have 7 secular groups in Poland and our AA movement is growing. It’s thanks to you. We saw each other in Toronto in 2018, I remember that conference fondly. I hope we’ll meet again.
Fabulous
Roger, a Big congratulations on your journey and your many years of sobriety and service to the cause. Hopefully we will see each other again in Phoenix, Denis K would be very grateful to you. Be well Amego.
Big congrats on your 15 years, Roger, ODAT. And thank you for your service.
Hi Roger, Congratulations on your 15 years. A big thank you for all the service you do via AA Agnostica for secular members of AA. Also, a heartfelt thanks for your support in publishing my blogs about my recovery as an agnostic in AA.
As I await the posting of this morning, 4/13, I reflect that this story from Roger really hit the spot last week–sort of like a letter from home I suppose. Of course it is well written but it’s also like news from an old friend. I don’t know you well, but your diligence is something I seek to emulate. Again, happy anniversary and thank you, I suppose, for being you. There will be another Beyond Belief meeting in Miles City, MT for the 10th year of continuous small gatherings of whomever wishes to participate in one with no assumptions about supernatural beings.
I also reflect on the Nones. Many of the younger secularists don’t see as much of a problem with religion as I do. They have kind of a “yeah, so what” feeling I guess. I felt a huge sense of relief in 2014 and I think Roger did too. Probably shared by most of us in Santa Monica but once our presence has become known around AA, it’s probably natural that our existence becomes more “ho-hum”.