Agnostic 12 Steps

By Andy F.

A meeting in a rehab

Every Friday, at 11 am, I would make the journey with a couple of buddies to a nearby drug and alcohol rehab. As a 12-step facility, we were invited to host a weekly AA meeting for clients undergoing treatment. It was a truly special event to be able to carry a message of recovery to newly sober alcoholics and addicts. For some of them, it was their first attempt at recovery. There were also a few who had been clean and sober before but had relapsed. They had ended up back in rehab, hoping to learn from previous mistakes.

An agnostic in treatment

One such “re-tread” was Michael, a warm, friendly, and intelligent young guy who, after relapsing, found himself in detox and then in rehab, where I met him. This time, he had a burning desire to get it right. Michael was an agnostic. He was the first to admit that during his previous periods of recovery, he was unable to use any concept of a higher power to help him stay clean and sober.

I, too, had been a serial relapser for many years after my arrival in NA and AA. Unable to get to grips with any conception of a higher power, I almost died of an overdose on more than one occasion. After the meeting, I shared my story with him. I told him that my recovery journey had been so complicated and painful that I wrote a book about my experiences to try to help others like me not make the same mistakes I made.

In the book, I describe how several agnostic-friendly sponsors showed me a secular path through the twelve steps. What I learned from them was very effective in helping me to stay clean and sober and turn my life around. Michael expressed an interest in the book, so I promised to bring him a copy to next week’s meeting.

Some honest feedback   

The following week, I asked Michael if he had made any progress with “The Twelve Steps for Agnostics.” He said that although there was some good content in the book, he found it too long. Michael wasn’t able to stay focused on the book. It had only been a few weeks since he finished his detox. He was still unable to concentrate. I understood his dilemma completely. I had been where he was when I was a newcomer. My book is, after all, three hundred and six pages long. I recall being unable to fully absorb the AA Big Book despite reading it daily. It struck me that it might be a good idea to condense and simplify the original book, making it more accessible to newcomers who don’t subscribe to a religious concept of God or a higher power.

After the meeting, I went home and set to work. The more I thought about it, the more passionate I became about the idea that a shortened version of the book could become a powerful resource. When addicts and alcoholics come into recovery, so many of them can’t deal with the “God” word as it appears in the twelve steps.

A new shortened version

Three months later, I came up with the first draft. After several edits, I was happy enough to publish it on Amazon. From 306 pages, I managed to condense it down to 85 pages. It still contains all the written step assignments from the original version. To keep it simple, I decided to call it “A Short Guide to the Twelve Steps for Agnostics.”

I kept in touch with Michael when he left treatment. I sent him a copy of the new book, and he told me it was the first time in years that he had been able to retain anything he had read. He could certainly relate to my struggles with finding a concept of a higher power that helped me stay clean and sober as an agnostic. Moreover, he also liked some of the alternative greater powers that several of my agnostic-friendly sponsors introduced me to. These were all positive powers found in AA. Being greater than me, they empowered me to overcome my powerlessness over alcohol and drugs.

I hope you like the new book,

In fellowship

Andy F